It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand by Megan Devine
Wow! It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand by Megan Devine is an amazing book! It is one of the best books that I (Suzanne) have read on the topic of grief. It deals primarily with sudden, unexpected loss, but I believe it applies across the board. Losing a loved one is heart-wrenching, whether you know it is coming or not. But, when it happens unexpectedly, it puts it right in your face just how little control we have and how unpredictable life can be.
Reading this book was like meeting a new friend, one who understands how you feel because she has been there. She hasn’t been exactly where I’ve been, but she has had the rug pulled out from under her, too, and knows there’s no putting things back as they had been before.
Ms. Devine has helped me to not feel so alone in my unresolved grief. She knows it takes more than two weeks to grieve the loss of a loved one. Two weeks, two years, a lifetime, we don’t ever get over it. The loss becomes a part of who we are.
She has also taught me that how I have handled the grief of others, though my intentions were to try to comfort, did nothing but potentially cause more pain to the one suffering. I had no idea that when I shared my sorrow, in an effort to say “I understand,” it set up a grief competition of sorts and feelings of “This is about ME, not you. Why isn’t my grief important?”, and many other hurt feelings in the grieving person. I am working on changing the way that I deal with the grief of friends and acquaintances, in an effort to not cause further pain. I didn’t realize the effect my words were potentially having because I never took it as belittling my grief when others shared theirs.
This book is emotional, well-written, and the education in grief that we all need, most especially those in the mental health field.
If you have lost someone, if you have been expected to process it on their timeline instead of your own, you need this book, if for no other reason than to find someone else who truly understands your pain.
We give It’s OK That You’re Not OK five stars and then some. It is a great book and I am thankful to have had the opportunity to read it!
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