31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes – Day 13

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31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes

Please join everyone at Five Minute Friday for 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes throughout the month of October.

Saturday, 13 October 2018

Talk

I can’t seem to talk for long anymore without crying. This evening has held a lot of tears. Earlier, my little sister gave me the news that our mama’s next oldest sister is now in hospice care and not expected to make it through the night.

I have a lot on my heart that I cannot put into words. I want to talk about it but I don’t want to talk about it. Whatever would come out of me wouldn’t make sense to anyone else…it doesn’t really even make sense to me most of the time.

I want to run away.  I want to go home.

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31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes – Day 12

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31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes

Please join everyone at Five Minute Friday for 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes throughout the month of October.

Friday, 12 October 2018

Praise

I will praise you, from the depths of my despair and the heights of my joy, I will praise you. In tears and in laughter, I will praise you. In sickness and in health, I will praise you.

As the sun shines down and the moon lights up the night, I will praise you. As the bluebonnets and paintbrushes bloom, and the land around heats up, I will praise you. As the leaves fall, and the wind blows, I will praise her. Scorching drought and devastating floods all around and I will praise you. Beautiful days and lightning bug nights, I will praise you.

You are my everything, my Creator, my Father, my Savior, my Redeemer. I will praise you.

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31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes – Day 11

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31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes

Please join everyone at Five Minute Friday for 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes throughout the month of October.

Thursday, 11 October 2018

Door

All I have to do is open that door. That’s all. Not anything difficult…or is it?

On the other side of that door is freedom, but also the source of my fears. Maybe if I open that door, those fears will ultimately consume me. But, maybe, if I open that door, I will be free, free to live the life that I have always dreamed of living.

Staying on this side of the door guarantees one thing: I will never be free. Fear can win whether I open the door or not. It can keep me locked inside this house or it can be there when I open the door. It can consume me, if I let it.

The only chance there is at freedom is to walk through that door.

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31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes – Day 10

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31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes

Please join everyone at Five Minute Friday for 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes throughout the month of October.

Wednesday, 10 October 2018

How

How do I get past this? Every time they bark, my heart races, even when I’m inside the house. The attack was just over a month ago and I still cringe when I go outside. I take the bat with me to the mailbox, knowing if they attack me again, I may not be able to use it.

How long are the bad dreams going to keep happening?

I know this is an attack of the devil, using those dogs to shatter my security and safety. Heavenly Father has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind.

Mine doesn’t feel too sound at the moment. This attack was the last straw, or at least feels like it.

How do I get past this?

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31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes – Day 9

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31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes

Please join everyone at Five Minute Friday for 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes throughout the month of October.

Tuesday, 9 October 2018

Inspire

What inspires you? Nature inspires me. It brings me closer to Heavenly Father as I stare in awe at His wonderful artistic mastery.  Have you ever studied a sunrise or sunset? Do the colors simultaneously calm you and excite you? Do they make you want to be a Master Artist, too?

I am amazed at the works of His hands. How, even in the ugliest of places, He plants something beautiful to remind us of the fact that He created this world and it is all beautiful. We just have to fully open our eyes to see it.

Nature inspires me to open my eyes, and my heart, to the beauty that is out there, both for our enjoyment and His glory.

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31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes – Day 8

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31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes

Please join everyone at Five Minute Friday for 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes throughout the month of October.

Monday, 8 October 2018

Comfort

What brings you comfort?

I am comforted by the revved up little kitties that we have and knowing how far they have come since they were first left here by their mama. I wasn’t so sure that they would survive that initial period without their mama. Heavenly Father saw to it that they not only survived, but they have thrived.

I am also comforted in knowing that my grandma, in the grips of Alzheimer’s, found comfort in my presence. She called me “Mama”, which upset me very much until I realized that it meant she felt safe with me. Who do we, as children, run to when we have a boo-boo and need comfort? Mama.  I gave her comfort and now this memory, all these years later, brings me comfort, too.

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31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes – Day 7

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31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes

Please join everyone at Five Minute Friday for 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes throughout the month of October.

Sunday, 7 October 2018

Hope

Dum Spiro Spero…“While I breathe, I hope” is the motto of our family’s clan, Clan MacLennan. As long as we are alive, there is reason for hope. Once we stop breathing, there is no longer need for hope because we will have what we have hoped for – eternal life with Christ.

Hope gives us a reason for living, for being, something to work for, to look forward to. Hope gets us out of bed in the morning (okay, well, my bladder does, too!) and keeps us pressing on.

Our forefathers knew there was hope for a better day coming. It is what I am living for now.

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31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes – Day 6

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31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes

Please join everyone at Five Minute Friday for 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes throughout the month of October.

Saturday, 6 October 2018

Belong

I have always had a need to belong, but have never really had a feeling of belonging. I have always been too weird, too fluffy, too short, or too just not enough, to fit in most places.

The only situation that ever gave me a true sense of belonging was singing in the Church of God teen choir. I didn’t feel so much that I belonged with those folks, but when I lost myself in those songs, I felt part of something so much bigger, something much more powerful. I felt like I was in the presence of our Heavenly Father. I belonged to Him and that was all that mattered.

It didn’t matter that my curly hair refused to do the cool “flyback” thing the other girls’ hair would do. It didn’t matter that I didn’t have the fancy jeans or a car of my own. I was with Him.  He welcomed me into His embrace and I belonged.

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31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes – Day 5

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31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes

Please join everyone at Five Minute Friday for 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes throughout the month of October.

Friday, 5 October 2018

Share

We are told as children that we need to share. It is one of life’s earliest lessons and not always a fun one. One thing that I remember having to share was my mother. She snuck my twins brothers on me when I was too little to realize siblings were anything to worry about. I was 17 months old and now I had two matching baby dolls. About the time that I was awakening to the fact that other people were real, my baby sister joined the gang and I felt replaced. I had to share my mama yet again and this time it was very different. This was a lot for someone 2 years and 11 months old to process.

I not only had to share Mama and toys, but I had to endure this new girl child getting some of my favorite clothes, too. Once I outgrew my favorite baby blue teddy bear pant suit, I had to let her have it. I was not fond of sharing my special things with her, especially when she wasn’t expected to share with me.

But, that was then and this is now. I often share family history information with her.  I also shared lots of “hey, you’re 50” birthday wishes with her this year. Those I didn’t mind sharing one little bit. 🙂

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31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes – Day 4

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31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes

Please join everyone at Five Minute Friday for 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writes throughout the month of October.

Thursday, 4 October 2018

Why

This prompt made me laugh. “Why?” is something that I have asked well over a million times since I learned to speak all those years ago. I drove my mama crazy with the whys. I drive David crazy with the whys. I question everything. Absolutely everything. I question and analyze until there is nothing left to question and analyze.  Why should I accept something as so just because someone told me so?

One of my favorite phrases that relates to this question is, “I have to know the why to apply.”  It’s my own statement and it states how my mind works quite clearly. Just telling me to do a math problem this way does not adequately teach me how to do it. I have to know why it is done this way or that way so that I can apply it and know how to apply it in other situations.

People can’t stand my constant whys, but that is a part of who I am and likely will be until the day I am no more.

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